Thankful is Happiness

OK, I do not want this post to be cliche.  Throughout the entire month I saw several people on Facebook complete a "Month of Thanksgiving," where they did a post each and everyday from November 1st until Thanksgiving, stating something they were thankful for.  Some of the items were unique, but most of the things were your typical things in life that you in fact should be thankful for.  This Thanksgiving I don't want to be cliche, I don't want to write what everyone already knows.  If I were to come on here and say how thankful I am for my wife and kids, my job, and a nice house to keep us warm, I would be no different than just about everybody else.  And, really, what would I be saying?  It is so easy and cliche to simply say I am thankful for....(fill in the blank).  But, is it sincere?  Is it from the heart?  What the hell does it even mean to be thankful?  I was left wondering what it means to be thankful the evening before thanksgiving.  As Sarah, Maya, Delaney, and myself sat down for dinner the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, I thought it would be a good idea for each of us to say something we are thankful for.  So as I am introducing this idea to the girls, Maya quickly asks, "What's thankful?"  Huh, I thought for a minute, to try and put what it means to be thankful into words a four year old can understand.  "Well, it means something that makes you happy," I said.  "You are thankful for things that you like and that make you happy."  I think she understood, as she responded, "Oh OK," with a big smile.  So, we went from youngest to oldest and started with Delaney.  I looked to her and asked, "What are you thankful for, what makes you happy, Delaney?"  She sat there for a second or two with a smile to think.  A short while later, she yells out, "Daddy!"  It almost brought a tear to my eye.  It meant so much to hear that.  Delaney continued with her answer and added Wizard of OZ (her new favorite movie).  Maya was next and said, "Mommy, going places, Christmas decorations, and treats."

That entire night I had a smile on my face.  Just the idea of Delaney saying "Daddy" completely unprompted and with out any help or hints.  It sounded so genuine and heartfelt, which is the coolest part of it all.  But, it really made me think.  As simple as my explanation for the meaning of thankful was, it had a profound message.  There is so much more to being sincerely thankful for something than just saying, "I am thankful for ________."  The truth is, at the root of thankfulness is happiness.  Pretty simple, really.  

Over the past 2-3 months I have experienced a whole new level of happiness.  Ever since crossing the finish line of the Ironman Madison, I have refocused my energy towards my kids and family.  As bad as that sounds, its the truth.  Instead of sacrificing time with my family to get my workout in, I have been sacrificing workouts to spend time with my family.  I have been spending more quality time with my kids and sincerely enjoyed it.  Sarah and I have had our ups and downs over the past year and we have had are fair share of arguments.  Don't get me wrong, I think I have been a pretty damn good dad before I started IM training, and I'm sure Sarah will agree with that.  But, I think every man, goes through progressions and grows from a man into a dad.  Just like many other things in life, some guys learn and adapt to becoming a dad almost immediately, while some others don't truly become a dad until much after their children are grown up and starting families of their own.  Sadly, some men, may become fathers, but never become a dad.  I have said countless times on this blog and to many people in conversation, that finishing the Ironman has changed me.  Sure, that's true from the based on the concept of what I learned about myself through accomplishing a lifelong goal.  But, now, I think it's more true than ever.

The fact is, I am a different man today.  I feel as though going through that past year has taught me a lot about my family.  Maybe not just my family, but about family in general.  I learned how strong, supportive, and loving my wife is.  She gave up a year of her life for me.  I can tell you honestly right now, that there is no way in hell I could ever do that.  I learned that I have the greatest in-laws.  Sarah's family picked up where I left off.  The entire year, they helped her with the kids while I was out training.  Lisa (Sarah's sister) was especially a huge help.  She was basically a second mother for Sarah and the girls.  My parents were always willing to help out when needed as well.  I learned that my kids will love me and think I'm a hero no matter what I do, no matter what place I take, and no matter what races I compete in.  I learned that without my family, I am nothing.  Without the support of Sarah, Maya, and Delaney, I would not be able to train and race, I would not be an Ironman Finisher.  I would not be a Boston Marathon Finisher.  I would not be where I am in life without the love and support from Sarah and the kids.  Since completing the IM, I am learning to better manage my time, both with my family and my training.  Prior to the IM, I was putting my training before my family, which is no longer the case.  

It's funny that it felt as though this hit me upside the head like a brick when Delaney excitedly proclaimed that I, "Daddy!" was her thing she was most thankful for.  And then there is a true meaning of being thankful, which to me, will now forever be that which makes you most happy.  And for me, my two daughters and now soon to be three, are truly what makes me most happy.  My dad recently wrote that the love of daughters can turn an Ironman into an Irondaddy.  It is so true, but only when the Ironman is able to realize it.  I am not nearly the best dad, I am not perfect, but I am constantly learning.  Learning from my daughters, learning from my wife, and learning from my own dad.  I simply strive to be a little bit better of a dad each and every day.  I figure if I can achieve that, I'm doing alright.  I am constantly becoming more and more of a dad each and everyday.

Obviously, Thanksgiving is now behind us and we are in the homestretch heading straight for Christmas.  I have never been a huge fan of the holidays, they have just become too commercialized for my taste.  Now, don't get me wrong, I have always enjoyed giving and receiving gifts, but in general the holidays just seem to have become some other than what they should be.  But as both Maya and Delaney get a little older, the holidays have taken on a new meaning.  I have almost started to like them.  This past Tuesday Maya had a presentation at her pre-school which consisted of a few songs and a shared treat.  Later, we spent the evening at the Downtown Appleton Parade which both girls absolutely LOVED.  We then went over to my parents house for dinner, which seems to have become a tradition.  On Wednesday night, the girls and I made an Apple Pomegranate pie for Thanksgiving.  I was quite surprised that both girls helped the entire time and were actually a help as opposed to a hindrance.  On Thanksgiving Day, we were up early for another event which has become a tradition in our family, the Turkey Trot.  My dad and I participated in the 5 mile run while Sarah, the girls, and my mom, did the 2 mile walk.  Sarah has always brought Bella along for the very pet friendly "Dog Walk."  For Thanksgiving we spent the mid morning/afternoon at my parents for a family luncheon and watched the Packer game (there's 3 hours of my life I'll never get back).  I had to work Thanksgiving night so I cut out early on Thanksgiving Day to catch some sleep before work.  Coming up we have a Thanksgiving dinner at Lisa's house on Saturday night and during the day Sarah and the girls are going up to my Grandma's tree farm to cut down our Christmas tree with my parents and brother.  Ready or not, Christmas time is here... Here we go!